its over :'(

well guys,

me and ammar broke up today...

i actually decided that it was time to let him go...

in a way, we remain close friends...

by doing what i did, i have just stopped myself from hurting:(

ammar is an angel... the fact that he tried his best is totally amazing...

but it has been 6 weeks since i last gone out with him...

its not his fault... i cannot be selfish:(

the thing that i ask to myself is...

how does a gurl break up with someone who loves her sooo much?

at least i think he loves me... he tells me he does.. u knw ?

confussion has been lurking in my mind the entire time...

a part of me feels like i did the right thing,

another part of me wants to just cryy...:(

i think ammar will get someone much better, who isnt so demanding.. :/

the thing is i love him... but as a friend...

i have fallen out of love with him :(

i knw it sounds horrible...

like how the f**k could she fall out of love with such an angel?

i hate myself for doing that :/

but i cant go on being unhappy...

and i cant let him continue in this relationship knowing that he will get much more hurt ...

soo i decided to finally make the desicion to end it..

we decided to remain close friends :D

we still see each other everyday in school :/

but we wont be able to do things we used to...

like makin out in the coridors :(

well... i promsed a post about my relationship...

here it is...:/

ps... i am reading TWILIGHT ;p

assesments XD

okay...

as we all knw...

assesments are starting tomorrow and lasting the entire week!

i slept over at kimi's this weekend and we studied as much as possible!

and then i came home and continued studying my history!

i HATE history....

seirously the entire assasination one the franz guy and his wife...

the entire WORLD WAR I

its all old storryyy's...

okayy sometimes it does get a lil interesting!

like when france,usa and great britian bitch about germany...

even in those days they were BITCHES

LOL...

i have history tomorrow!

and

a math class test:p

oh god help me:(

SUBJECT CHANGE

about the whole ammar thing...

ummm...i still dont knw what to do:/

i knw he loves me...

and i love him...

but i am confused:(

soo we'll see what will happen tomorrow:/

i'll blog about it kayy...:D

CHANGE SUBJECT

the entire weekend was spent with babes and kimi!

had a blast...

saw payam for a while on thursdayy...

miss him already :/

i gtg and continue studyin :((((

wish me luck bitch's

loves

xoxox

*sigh*

okay, so here is what happened...

me and ammar is having some time off from each other..

i promise it is not permanent, its just i need some time alone...

the thing with ammar is that i always understand his situations...

when i decided to have this break between us, i was thinking to myself...how fucking dumb am i?

i mean ammar loves me....

at least thats what he says:(

saying the words I LOVE YOU is not that difficult...

its when u show the person...

sometimes u dont even have to say those words...

just by showing how u feel towards them makes u super happy...

i have tried my best to make ammar feel happy...

seriously i have given it my all...

all i want from him is to show me he loves me...

i need him to WANT me,

i need him to NEED me,

i need him to LOVE me...

it would be very selfish of me to tell him to change,,,

but if he cant change then i would just have to accept him the way he is...

the thing with me is, i am IN LOVE with him...

as much as he hurts me, i continue loving him:(

i dunno what the fuck is wrong with me though :/

all i knw is that i am still in love with ammar...

BTW

this weekend is my study/hangout/sleep weekend at kimi's place:p

i am just gonna have fun and forget about this whole ammar thing for a while:/

i will talk to him on sunday and we will see what happens..

i promise to tell you guys whats neww kayy...

for now i wanna sleep:/

nitess all!!

loves

xoxox

the weekend ;)

well...sorry for the couple dayss delay...was a lil busyy with the school work and shit:p

anywho...i'll start by saying the weekend was with ofcourse babes** and kim** XD

i dunno what i would do without them...:/

okayy...lets start :-

.:thursday:.

well it started as soon as the bell rung at school :D

the three of us headed to ibn battuta...chilled with a couple of friends...till about 7pm

then we headed back to my place..btw kim slept over;)

me and kim freshened up and babes watched CNN with my dad!

lo0ol

anywho, around 9 we headed down to the marina got us some ice and *coke*

started chatting,chilling,and etc.etc.

we hung out till about 2am...

haha not even doing anythin we had soo much fun :p

call us freaks ;)

.:friday:.

this was the dayyy we had the most fun!!

me and the family + kim + randy...went to the beach...

yeaaaaaaaaa babyyyyy sum sun-kissed time ;)

had an amazing time with em...we were there from 12-6!

then had dinner at 'CHOW KING'

around 7.30 reached home...

as usual...babes** went to watch james bond wit his famlyy...

then he caught up with us and we all chilled at marina this time again :p

well lets just say teh night was f**king crazyyy...

and PRIVATE ;)

we met babes in the lobbyy...

and he was using the most sexxiest perfume ;)

*cough*

anywho,we chilled as usual...

then bagaraaa*noor* came!

had a wailll of a night...

thats all i am tellin;)

went home super late!!

like at 4am...

kim v. was there... she came over and lft at like 6am :p

i was totally out!

XD

now how was that for a weekend blog?

simple/boring/nice?

hahaha whatever u bitches think...

i dun care :D

its what i did!

gotta go cook dinner :p

lovess

xoxox

random dayy..

whywell nothing much happened todayy... i slept att 4am yesterdayy...

had about 3 hours of sleep...

in school i think the most interesting thing was PE...

yeaa played with some balls ** and saww my marlove:* doing a lil sports...o00o0oh ;)

well...afetr school i came homw and caught up with some of my missing zZzZzZ,

did that for abt and hour then around 5 went down to the marina to do a lil shopping...

spent 100$ on god knws what!!

had to buyy stuff like tracing paper and files and shit.:p

kimi didnt come to school today so it was a lil boring...

but my gurls*peggy,sara,amna* made the dayy much more tolerable:D

i seriously wouldnt knw what to do without them:(

*subject change*

i miss ammar though...

its been about 3 weeks since i last went out with him...

i mean i knw i see him everydayy in school,but its different when u go out with each other...

u can hold hands, talk abt crap, laugh totally loud...KISS

haha things we cant really do much in school...

coz i see him about 15-20 min. in total everydayyy..

i dunno if he is free this weekend though...

he's always just soo busyy...

and todayy he had a guitar class in school...

yeaa..he isnt the one learning,he's the TEACHER XD

awwww my bf...the TEACHER....

and only I am allowed to KISS him all i want :p

how luckyy am i???

well i am done rambling...

nitess

xoxox

<3>

reports :p

anywho...today papa came over to the school...

yea well coz today was the consultation:p

haha yeaa for the gurls who didnt do well in their assesments this is the dayy they DIE :P

well...i thought today was the daayy i did that...

soo papa came to school at like what...4.40pm :)

then spoke to the teacher..mrs.susha**

and well guess what guys!!

*REPORT*

i got all A's...except for 3 B's :p

haha yeaa babyyy...

i study for like the last week!!

go out everydayy

and i think i did pretty well :/

the next assesment i sooooo cannot do that!

i have to studyy my ass off!!

papa gave me a warning...

see i went out EVERYDAY

so papa said that he was saying yes for me going out and all..

i went out with BABES btw..

i go out tilll late and night and shit..

sooo papa said all he wants are RESULTS!

and lookie here...

i think i gave him quite good results..

so in a wayy i can say we are even!

YAY

i gtg to bed guys..its 3am and i have school in 4 hours!

xoxoxo

loves

<3

p.s: today was me and ammars 4 month!!!

and

mama and papa's 18th year!!!

and

kim and moe's 1 month!!!

i love you

always have

always will

ammar

<3

haapppyy halloweeen :p

31st october 2008

night of halloween

celebrated at the beach

6pm to 2am

guests

*

me

enejan

mona

kim

amir

payam

rachel

mike

alexsandra

mohsen

shiori

beverly

summer

anmol

priya

amna

nadia

proof of our presence :)

mike and alex <3>

mike the joker...:p

alex the victim :p

mike me and anmol

enjoying our verryy boringg night ;)

entertaining ourselves by playing a lil game of

truth or dare

hahaha me and mohsen :D

doing a lil *wink*

luvv yaaa hun XD

me and mike...;)

awwwww aren't theyy just sooooo cute togther:D
the pefect *freaky*couple
<3>

hahaha this was one of the mane things done....
just chilling drinking some coke...
gossiping :D
and i assure u thats all we did
*cough*cough*

i was the devil babyyy XD


me and amir...
snapshot moment ;P



awwwww
the threee angels :D
beverly*shiori*summer



one of my bestest friendsss kimi *on the left*

and rachel

love this gurl to death :p

<3

overall:

rate: 6/10

*could have been a bit more fun ;P

but loved it anywaysss XD

thx guys for showing up :p

lovesss

xoxoxox

oman :*

well....the trip to oman was a very

familyy thing:)

we spent 7 hours to get to our destination!!

7 hours of our family being together in our car...bonding...singing...talking...snoring XDanyways we stayed in a hotel apartment...there wasn't much in oman...its mostly a historic place...old things...old people...:p

pix for your enjoymeny :p

daddyyy driving the carr :D

our hotel:D

*may not look like much*

but it has a kitchen and 2 bedrroms and 3 bathrroms...:p

*THE VIEW*
me :D

at the yathc's placee XD

the fort.....*where people die XD*


the FOOD :P

this is a picture of our simple kampung fried rice..

which costs RM55.00 XD

the breathtaking sunset is well...breathtaking:D

alltogether..oman was a vacation that was enjoyed...

but i think it will be quite some time before we vacation again :D

<3